I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
