My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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