Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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