Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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