First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
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We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
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Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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