i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
