Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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