you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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