Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
