he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
