I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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