There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
