Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
