The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize