youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
