I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
