I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
