Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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