This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
two words...techno handjob
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
