fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
