I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
