Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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