You just made me feel so damn special
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
