I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
