addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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