I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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