I'm lost and stupid without you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
