did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
