I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
