look no pants
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
