a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
