So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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