i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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