He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
