If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
