i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.