the condom got lost in my hair
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You've changed since you got that strap on