ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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