Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
