Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?

(253): View more from Washington

Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.

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(541): There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them? (253): Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either. http://tfl.nu/fhrp

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(757): View more from Virginia

DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

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(757): DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT? (703): I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear. http://tfl.nu/5lvm

Replies (37) Good night (2746) Bad night (839)
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(805): View more from California

i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?

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(805): i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right? http://tfl.nu/zs4y

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(954): View more from Florida

my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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(954): my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him http://tfl.nu/k9ng

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(646): View more from New York

I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback

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(646): I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback http://tfl.nu/fcgu

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(404): View more from Georgia

Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.

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(404): Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon. http://tfl.nu/d58s

Replies (39) Good night (9049) Bad night (1141) Order T-Shirt
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils

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(610): I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils http://tfl.nu/glcj

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.

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(479): Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students. http://tfl.nu/ij14

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.

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(306): We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis. http://tfl.nu/9mdd

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(801): View more from Utah

P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.

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(801): P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play. http://tfl.nu/s3w0

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.

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(413): She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker. (1-413): That's effing brilliant. We should start a business. http://tfl.nu/l4ou

Replies (7) Good night (1779) Bad night (434)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

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(910): I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore http://tfl.nu/qak0

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(312): View more from Illinois

Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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(312): Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that. http://tfl.nu/azva

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You okay?

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread

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(412): You okay? (1-412): I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/1951

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(407): View more from Florida

More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out

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(407): More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out http://tfl.nu/4y5s

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