My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
