I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize