went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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