i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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