Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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