these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize