Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
