if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
