i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
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Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
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This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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