i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
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i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE