I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
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Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
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You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset