just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy