based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just had sex on a roof
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka