Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
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I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
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But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.