I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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