physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
