I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
