stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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