He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
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If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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