haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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