what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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